SUPER BOWL XXXIX FULLERVISION STYLE

POST-SUPER BOWL NEWS: WAS DONOVAN MCNABB "YUSHCHENKOED?"

Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2005
It was revealed today by center Hank Fraley and wide receiver Freddie Mitchell of the Philadelphia Eagles that quarterback Donovan McNabb was not performing well on Super Bowl Sunday due to a stomach illness. While some may have speculated that a hard hit may have led to a concussion, an Eagles spokesperson ruled that out and blamed a cold that he had fought earlier in the week. Being the conspiracy theorist that I am, however, I'm thinking that more sinister forces were in play here...
It appears to me that the New England Patriots couldn't play a fair game if they had to. I think that with wide receiver Terrell Owens a question mark, McNabb was target #1 for the Pats' defense. So, instead of the usual technique on bribing referees in the playoffs, they decided to give McNabb food poisioning. McNabb would be temporarily debilitated, but not enough to pull himself out of the game. A subpar McNabb would be much easier to play against, especially with Owens possibly out of the question. [Well, Owens wasn't; the man known more for his antics than his play had one of the greatest games of his career, which probably disappointed the Patriots.] But McNabb's sluggish performance, especially heading later into the game, is something worth investigating. (Fox Sports made no suggestion of illness during the game, they just referred to him as "off target" and "slow" while suggesting he was just plain worse than the all-high-and-mighty Pats.)
Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Was Donovan McNabb coerced/bribed into saying that he wasn't feeling sick?? He says that his center and wide receiver, who both recount McNabb's inability to call the plays in the fourth quarter, "bothered" him when they made the comments and that they weren't true... something is definitely up, someone is lying... and you can bet the Patriots or the league is behind this.

Objective Evidence:
Story from NFL.com
Story from WCAU-TV Philadelphia
2/9 Story from Associated Press

POSTGAME ANALYSIS

Pats 24, Eagles 21. A good clean game by both sides, it was fair, and New England showed that it was not the superhuman team that it was fabled to be once the referees started calling the penalties fairly. Philadelphia played neck-and-neck to New England to the end. I'm not happy with the results considering the way New England got here, and I'm not calling them a dynasty by any means because of it. (Interesting statistic: the Pats have won by 3 points, each time on a last-second play... some dynasty.) Tom Brady is mediocre, Bill Belichick is NOT a genius, and the defense is as egomaniacal as they come, the only thing is that there's so many egos that they smooth each other out. Let's give it a break, people. I hear the Star Wars theme, it should be "The Empire Strikes Back." This is the darkest "Dynasty" since 1980s ABC primetime. Terrell Owens did perform well, and I still don't like his attitude, and Donovan McNabb (despite the whole Limbaugh flap) deserved better than to lose to a mob of cheaters. And the media is going to try and contradict everything I just said. The Patriots are cheaters, end of story.

The commercials were pathetic and miserable. GoDaddy.com's advertisement was completely tasteless, and half the commercials, we had already seen before. Too many Anheuser-Busch advertisements, as usual-- I'm sick of hearing the million ways to get everybody to drink Bud Light.  I was impressed with Paul McCartney's halftime show, he kept it upbeat. Absolute shame to Matt Groening, the episode of "The Simpsons" after the game was a gross misinterpretation and ridicule of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" as well as an insult to all Christianity. (But apparently, Groening has done this before, making cruel mockery of Fox News Channel in a previous episode where Krusty the Clown runs for Congress.) Shame to Fox Television... maybe moving O'Reilly and Hannity to the broadcast waves would bring some decency-- at least we don't have to worry about Alan Colmes flashing a boob.

FROM BEFORE THE GAME... played at Jacksonville, FL's Alltel Stadium at 6:30 PM EST, Sunday, February 6, 2005

WHO'S PLAYING:

1) THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS-- By far, the biggest cheaters of all time... they've got the media and the referees in their back pocket. (Don't believe me? Just listen to how much the media fawns over a mediocre Tom Brady... that's right, he's mediocre, folks... he got to the Super Bowl in '02 thanks to Drew Bledsoe and a technicality, and he barely eeked out a win over what basically was a default team in Carolina in '04. His passer rating is inflated by the fact that his yards per attempt is the lowest in the playoffs outside of scrambler Michael Vick... but anyway... the referees have not called a single pass interference or holding call against the Patriots in four consecutive playoff games.) The media claims that the Patriots defense is a bunch of "no-names." This while they hype up Richard Seymour, Tedy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, Rodney Harrison, and Ty Law almost as high as they do Lindsay Lohan (another one of the most overrated people in history, not so much in acting but especially in singing, thank God she's not performing this halftime). And let's not kid ourselves about Bill Belichick, either, he's the field general here, whenever anything happens, he acts like it's no big deal, like it was scripted or something. This year's New England Patriots are more like the Benedict Arnolds, committing treason against the sanctity of the game.
WHAT GOOD DO I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT NEW ENGLAND?
I like Troy Brown... anyone who can play both ways on the field is good.

2) THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES-- Terrell Owens is a jack@$$, simple as that. Donovan McNabb has improved... he went from the worst passer in the NFL in '03 (the height of the Rush Limbaugh controversy) to the best passer in the '05 playoffs. I'd like to think Limbaugh had a role in that, as a weird form of motivation for McNabb to prove himself. Jevon Kearse is overrated. The rest of the team is a bunch of relative no-names, but they were able to win. Brian Westbrook (RB?), Jeremiah Trotter (LB), Todd Pinkston (WR), Hugh Douglas (DE) are names that I vaguely recognize, but not quite as much as I do the Patriots.

THE MEDIA COVERAGE

TELEVISION COVERAGE: FOX-TV
ANALOG TELEVISION: WUTV-29 Buffalo, WUHF-31 Rochester, WSYT-68 Syracuse, WNYF-28 Potsdam and Carthage, WYDC-48 Corning, WICZ-40 Binghamton, WFXP-66 Erie, WWCP-8 Johnstown
HIGH DEFINITION: WUTVDT-14 Buffalo, WUHFDT-28 Rochester
RADIO COVERAGE: WGR 550 Buffalo, WHAM 1180 Rochester (50KW), WHEN 620 Syracuse, WFAN 660 New York City (50KW), probably a few other 50KW outlets floating out there.

UPDATE AT HALFTIME: THE CJCL STREAM IS BACK UP! CLICK HERE.

HALFTIME SHOW: Former member of "The Beatles" and "Wings," Paul McCartney will be the headline artist.

THE ODDS

New England -6½ [45]

FULLER'S PREDICTION

The game will be close... the game will, once again, come down to another Vinatieri field goal. Watch for electromagnets in the goal posts toward the end of the game, as the ball is probably loaded with a magnet as to assure the world that Vinatieri does not miss the same way Scott Norwood did in Super Bowl XXV. Pats 26, Eagles 23. As much as I don't like it, that's what it's probably going to be.